Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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