is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
