So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
