mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
