I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
