did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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