I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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