Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
