just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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