The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
These tits shall not be calmed
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
