I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Bring me that man meat
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
