I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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