yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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