How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
