i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
