I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
