in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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