the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
