Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
