I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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