reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
