Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
