I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You pole danced in your parka.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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