Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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