Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
