Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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