They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
