the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
