I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
