Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
