I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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