Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
