do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
the raccoons are back...
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