And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I love having hate sex.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
