The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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