I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
