You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
