So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
