We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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