I am puke
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
