I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
