he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
