so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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