We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
This baby is an asshole
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
