Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
