I'm going to jail i love you
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
