i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I am midnight drunk by noon
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
