So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
