is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize