i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
