Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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