she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
