Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
