we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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