She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
as a side note pls kill me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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