i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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