I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you will always have a special place in my vag
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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