Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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