I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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