I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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