btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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