My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
