I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
