she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
