well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
