i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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