Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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